When I am weak, HE IS STRONG!

It has been a little over four months since we've moved from our hometown of BR to PA.  Since I began serving the Lord in February 1995, I have always had a desire for ministry.  Whatever way God would choose to use me didn't matter, I just wanted to share what He had done in my life and be a vessel to see others come to know Him as I have.  I've been on short term missions trip out of the country before and could always see myself being okay being away from home and family.  I was always the strong one!  As a teenager, I moved out at a young age and had to fend for myself for years, most of that time without contact with my family at all.  With that being said - I knew that if God called us (Scott and I) to another place, I would be ok with it.  Little did I know it would be this hard.  Now don't get me wrong in what I am saying or get the wrong idea.  We are totally blessed and honored that the Lord would call us into full time ministry here in PA.  Our new church family has been more than gracious and welcoming us into their family.  We feel so loved and have made so many friends here.  I have come to the conclusion though that I am not as strong as I thought I was.  You don't realize how much you depend on your family or friends and I took for granted the time I could have spent with them.  Although we were together everyday or at least it seemed as though we were.  We all lived within 20 minutes or closer to each other and could stop in at any given time to visit. We were always there for each other and still are, I'm just 20 hours away and it's not a hop, skip and jump away anymore.  I reached a point today where I finally had to be honest with myself and realize I am NOT Superwoman (that was a hard pill to swallow). See I always prayed "Lord send me" but I never prayed for Him to prepare me emotionally for whatever was to come.  I assumed I was strong enough to handle anything that would come my way.  Well I was so wrong.  I am a total mess right now but I am at a good place - broken and at a point where my weakness can only mean I must lean on the Everlasting Arms of my Heavenly Father to carry me through this time of my life.  I had the wrong idea of weakness - after talking with a friend today, I have come to the conclusion that it is ok to not have it all together.  I don't always have to be strong because that is where I  need to allow the Lord to come in and pull me through.  I know these things take time and it is a process - even though we don't always like the way it feels, God enjoys the process.  We grow in our faith, in our walk with Him, in our dependance on Him.  In my weakness, He is strong!  He's proved it over and over again.  So if you are like me and always feel like you have to hold it together for all those around you, forget about it!  Run into the Arms of Jesus - He is there waiting for you.